Her middle-finger emojis were swift

A new story, AN OCCURRENCE AT THE ONLY PLACE YOU'VE EVER KNOWN is up at the excellent Revolution John Magazine.  

are you down with the zest?

Living the LUNA Life at The Mugwump Corporation

We Always Managed to Have the Same Teachers

Carl didn’t see the piñata-bashing club as I cracked him with it on the back of his dome piece, knocking him out for a solid two minutes. And I didn’t see the two massive parental hands that grabbed me from behind and spanked my learing, chubby rump until I apologized to Carl, our non-offensively biracial god and the president. “Crappy birthday to you” is an understatement. Honey-bearded Jesus and George Bush 41 just kept staring at me from behind their picture frames on the plastic, Pine-Sol-colored mantel, and I wouldn’t be getting my new Super Nintendo until the following year, when the only thing anyone really wanted to play with were Stretch Saddam dolls and Branch Davidian Big Wheels. But I would be seeing a lot more of Carl. Until the next time he touched me where it smelled funny.

You love your children. It's your one redeeming quality. That and your cheekbones. (episode 1 review)